


As the seasons pass

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Aging, Asian Family, Asian-American Character, Character Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Japanese-American Character, M/M, Racism, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As the seasons pass, our lives change, from innocent children to weary adults. Love, as well as cruelty, follows us on our path. And as for Kiku, he knew the memories would remain forever sharp.





	1. Summer verse

It had been summer when they first met.

Kiku had just moved into the neighborhood. His biggest brother, Yao-nii, had turned 18 only last month! And Nii-san had promised to Kiku and their younger siblings that as soon as he did, he would take them away from their mean oto-san.

Kiku had the best big brother ever and the best little sister ever, even though the others...

They were all splayed out on the lawn, and Kiku had been given the big responsibility of helping Nii-san babysit, which showed how much he trusted Kiku. Kiku was growing up!

Li Xiang, the youngest at three years, was bawling. Five-year-old Cheng was drinking tea and pretty much ignoring the world. Unhelpful! But the twins were the worst. Just the thought…

At least four-year-old Mei was good. She played with her dolls and occasionally shushed Li Xiang. She was like a delicate cherry blossom. Kiku was determined to protect her from all the mean stuff in this world. But he was sure it was going to be okay with Nii-san around. Nii-san protected them from everything.

"Yo, dudes!" A loud voice shouted.

It was a blond kid, with bright blue eyes and a friendly grin. He was covered in band-aids, which made Kiku wonder. Did his big brother not protect him enough? Or… what if… he didn't have a big brother?

The big-brotherless kid grinned. He looked surprisingly cheerful for someone who didn't have a big brother.

"You guys must be the new neighbors! I'm Alfred, and I'm eight!"

Yong Soo waved back with an equally ridiculous smile. "I'm Yong Soo, and I'm six! This is my twin brother Hyung Soo!" He gestured to a scowling Hyung Soo.

Alfred walked up to them. "Wanna play?"

Yong Soo was obviously about to agree, but Nii-san shook his head.

"I don't trust you, Yong Soo! Now come clean up the mess you’ve made."

Yong Soo looked at Alfred apologetically, before walking over to Nii-san, with Hyung Soo close behind. Hyung Soo kept on casting suspicious glances over his shoulder at Alfred.

Alfred's happy face immediately disappeared. "B-but… I'll have no one to play with me!"

Nii-san frowned, looking worried. "Aiya, you poor thing." He glanced at Kiku. "Xiao-ju-hua, why don't you go and play with Alfred? I can handle your little siblings on his own."

Kiku didn't want to because that would mean leaving the safety of his big brother. But he needed to be nice and helpful like Nii-san was. So he agreed.

"I'm Kiku," He introduced, trying to be refined and polite like he was supposed to be. "And I'm nine."

Alfred beamed and gave Kiku a hug, causing Kiku to yelp. "I'm Alfred, and we're going to be best buddies!"

Kiku nodded, trying to recover from his shock. Alfred then grabbed Kiku's hand, causing the boy to yelp again. As Alfred dragged him to wherever, Kiku voiced a question,

"Alfred-san? Do you have a big brother?"

Alfred stared at him blankly. "Wha- Duh!" Alfred grinned. "His name is Arthur, and he's 17! He's super smart. Daddy says he's going to Ox-turd or something like that for college."

Kiku blinked. "B-but… he must be a bad big brother, right?"

Alfred's cheerful expression immediately vanished, overtaken by storm clouds. He threw Kiku's hand to the side. "Whatcha mean? No way! He gave me this super cool toy-"

"But you're all injured-"

"So what? My big brother is smarter than yours anyways."

Kiku narrowed his eyes, feeling a cold anger creep over him. Nii-san was the best!

"My Nii-san's going to be a doctor," Kiku proclaimed, "He's going to help save people! Your big brother can't even keep you uninjured!"

Alfred turned bright red, clenching his fists. "W-well, your big brother's girlish!"

Kiku snarled. This was the last straw! No one was allowed to insult Nii-san!

Hissing and scratching, Kiku leaped at Alfred. In turn, Alfred punched him the eye. Kiku cried out in pain, but there was no way he was going to surrender. He was going to be like a samurai! He was going to defend his family's honor!

Grabbing a nearby stick, Kiku smacked Alfred in the nose. Blood, red like the Japanese flag, spurted out. Both boys ignored it, leaping back at each other and dissolving into a storm of tangled limbs.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing?" And angry voice suddenly demanded, just as Alfred was about to punch the pinned Kiku again.

The weight was lifted off of Kiku, who soon found himself dragged back by a familiar pair of hands. Through the daze, Kiku could only register his own pain and two worried, scolding voices.

In the end, Kiku and Alfred were forced to apologize to each other. The one who had dragged Alfred off of Kiku was Alfred's big brother, Arthur. Arthur was super ugly, with bushy eyebrows. Nii-san was way prettier. Kiku was about to inform Alfred of this fact but was halted by Nii-san's angry words as Kiku got dragged home.

"I let you go play with your new neighbor because you need to make friends! And what do you do? You get into a fight with him and break his nose, that's what! And to think, you’re already nine years old... Aiya, all of you are too much trouble sometimes…"

Kiku felt betrayed and sad. He had been fighting for Nii-san! But now… what if Nii-san was so angry he made Kiku go back to the orphanage? That’s where Oto-san had said that Kiku would be if it wasn't for Yao-nii.

A fat tear made its way down Kiku's cheek, clearing away the dirt and dried blood there. Nii-san noticed. His expression melted into something kinder.

Stopping, he knelt down in front of Kiku.

"It'll be okay, Xiao-ju-hua. I just don't want my sweet di-di getting hurt, okay?"

Kiku nodded, sniffling. "Alfred was calling you girlish and dumb, and I couldn't let him do that! Because my Nii-san is the smartest, prettiest person ever!"

To Kiku's shock, Nii-san laughed. "Aiya… well, I'm glad I have my little shi-bing to defend my honor, huh?" He gave Kiku a tight hug. "It's okay, Xiao-ju-hua."

Kiku accepted the hug happily, burying his face deep into Nii-san's shoulder.

He still didn't like Alfred, though.


	2. Fall verse

It had been fall when they first became close.

Middle school was a tough transition, with the world suddenly expanding. Suddenly, his big brother couldn’t protect Kiku anymore. His bubble burst, letting in the cruelty and hatred of the world.

Speaking of cruelty and hatred, Kiku was currently pinned to the wall by two eighth graders. His body ached from their blows, and his backpack was in the trash can.

“Ching-chong!” The taller one sneered. “Go back to your dumb commie country!”

“You’re using the wrong racial slur,” Kiku mumbled through the mouthful of blood.

Sadly, that pinch of defiance caused another punch. Kiku whimpered.

He tried to think positive. At least he wasn’t missing any classes, since today was Sunday. And Kiku’s little siblings would be fine, since they were all with some nice ajummas that were fond of the twins.

But who cared? Kiku was being beaten to a pulp.

As a fist of hatred was raised again, a voice that surely must belong to an angel cried out.

“Stop!”

The fist was stopped and the discriminating hand on Kiku loosened. He slid to the ground. Whether he was sobbing or gasping, he did not know. All he knew was that there was hope.

“Wha-” The shorter one gulped. “Dude, you’re tall.”

The taller one let out a harsh pang of laughter. “Moron! He’s one of those dumb sixth graders. Let’s finish him up and then go back to the commie.”

“Dude, beating people up ‘cause of their race isn’t cool!” The voice yelled. “This is America!”

Kiku frowned. The voice, the call for justice, the patriotism, the height… could it be Alfred?

The two bullies charged at Alfred. There were shouts of pain and anger. Kiku tried to get up, to help, but he felt too weak. Tilting his head and closing his eyes, Kiku let the darkness that promised to numb the pain embrace him…

_Nii-san…_

_Mei-chan…_

_Someone…_

“Dude, are you okay?”

Blond hair. Blue eyes.

That was the face of the oppressors. But that was also the face of the one who had just saved him. Truly, race did not define a person.  
He felt himself being lifted up and carried off, his head swaying.

_Nii-san…_

_Mei-chan…_

_Family…_

As Alfred brought him home, the duo was greeted with panicked shouts. There was talk of calling the police, 911, the principal…

Mei, Yong Soo, and Li Xiang were crying. Hyung Soo had sworn vengeance on whoever did this, while a sobbing Cheng was trying to explain to the 911 telephone operator in a Cantonese/Mandarin/English mix what had happened.

Kiku felt himself being lifted out of Alfred’s arms into the ones that had held him as a child, the ones that kept him safe from the fury of the world…  
He was safe.

“Rest,” Nii-san whispered, his voice sounding distorted. “It will be okay, Xiao-ju-hua.”

The recovery took a week, too long in Kiku’s opinion. He could fall behind! The eighth-grade boys had gone to juvenile, thankfully. Herakles and Sadiq had a fight about who would bring Kiku his schoolwork, but Gupta had managed to smooth it over.

When Kiku went back to school, whispers followed him everywhere. Luckily, Alfred did too, like a loyal dog, with a cheerful and eager grin.

“Thank you,” He whispered one day on the way home from school.

Alfred had been catching leaves (and to think he was taller than Kiku…) when Kiku spoke. The blond boy’s expression was blank for five seconds, before lighting up.

“Oh, right, dude!” Alfred grinned, giving Kiku a quick hug, startling the slight Japanese student. “Well, it’s a hero’s job to help people, right? Besides, this is ‘Murica, where everyone should feel safe and accepted!”

Kiku blinked. “You’re certainly idealistic.”

Alfred chuckled. “Well, if you don’t dream big, how can you reach big?”

“Good point.”

“And that’s why I think your family’s so cool.”

“Huh?”

“Because all of you come from different backgrounds, but you can still coexist and love each other,” Alfred explained, “I hope that one day, the whole world can be like that!”

Kiku smiled sadly. “I-I hope so too.”

The two walked in silence for awhile, amidst the dancing leaves. Their lives were difficult, the warmth of summer disappearing to herald the cold of winter. Somehow, though, they still created a beautiful and memorable spectacle.

“Remember when we got into a fight once over our big brothers?” Alfred asked suddenly.

Kiku let out a rare laugh. “Ah, yes. Life was so much innocenter then, wasn’t it?"

Alfred nodded, his shoulders slumping. Then he brightened up again, as always.

“But now we’re more grown up! And we don’t fight, so it’s all cool. We’re like best friends now, right?”

Kiku tilted his head. “I suppose so.”

Alfred pumped his fist. “Bro, that’s totally lit!”


	3. Winter verse

It was winter when they first kissed.

Alfred had insisted on building a snowman in the park with Kiku. Though he was busy, Kiku ended up agreeing. He now found himself treasuring every moment he had with Alfred and seeking for more. When Kiku mentioned this to Nii-san, he merely looked amused.

"Aiya," He had said, "My Xiao-ju-hua is growing up. But I know he won't do anything irresponsible." Then he had kissed Kiku on the forehead before running off to medical school, leaving the sophomore baffled.

Baffling… yes, that was life.

"Alfred?" Kiku murmured, sitting down on the park bench.

Alfred lifted his head and straightened up. "Yeah, dude?"

"Can we talk?"

Alfred frowned. "Oh, crud, is this where you say that you're pregnant and- wait."

Kiku laughed, temporarily lifted out of his melancholy mood.

Looking embarrassed, Alfred settled down next to Kiku.

"How's being a freshman treating you?" Kiku asked.

Alfred chuckled. "Strange, it's actually easier than being an eighth grader. They probably just want to help the transition, though.”

Kiku nodded, settling back. He could almost feel Alfred's warmth, radiating from the cheerful boy like a beacon. A beacon of hope and happiness.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Alfred asked.

"I-I just feel… lost," Kiku mumbled, "Like I'm all alone." He glanced at Alfred, trying to gauge his expression. "I'm not being silly, am I?" After all, he had so much… his family, his friends, Alfred…

Alfred shook his head. "Nah, bro. It's totally okay to feel sucksy. I kinda get how you feel. Does it feel like there's a cloud over you and tomorrow is a black hole?"

Kiku sighed in relief. "Ah, I'm glad that you understand."

Alfred beamed. "Hey, what are friends for?"

Almost tenderly, Alfred gave Kiku a hug, enfluging Kiku in that warmth. Surely things would be okay? Surely tomorrow would come, and bring them forwards, together?

"It'll be okay," Alfred promised, looking straight at Kiku with sky blue eyes.

Kiku smiled feebly. "I suppose so."

And that moment felt near perfect. The rest of the world could fade away, but Kiku wouldn't notice. Suspended in midair, like dewdrops on a spider web…

These moments were the ones Kiku lived for, the ones that gave him hope, the ones with smile…

_Gentle hands_

_Sweet laughter_

_Sky blue eyes_

"Kiku?" Alfred looked concerned. "We're going to be fine, 'kay?"

But Kiku wasn't sad at the moment, nor empty. He was in a daze as he tried to trap the memory forever, while simultaneously trying to figure out how to proceed.

_Soothing voice_

_Pattering feet_

_Tousled hair_

A tear slipped down Kiku's cheek.

"Y-yeah," He stammered, "We'll make it through…"

Alfred smiled, a wonderful thing. Reaching out with a rough hand, he brushed away Kiku's tear. "That's the spirit!"

Kiku leaned in for another hug, which Alfred granted him. In Alfred's strong embrace, Kiku felt safe and comfortable, a feeling he missed. Alfred's heartbeat, strong and steady, reminded him of how he used to listen to nii-san's heartbeat, in hopes of becoming a doctor.

"Thank you," He mumbled into Alfred's chest.

"What are friends for?" Alfred asked.

Kiku frowned. "I-I don't know. It's just… people seem so fake sometimes like they'll abandon you at the first sign of trouble…"

"Well," Alfred proclaimed, "I won't abandon anyone! Because that's what we should all do, 'cause it's nice!"

Hearing his optimism, Kiku felt his heart break a little. "Alfred…"

The snow danced around them, coating the world in a monochrome blanket. Soon, the snow would melt, and spring would come, bringing new life and hope.

Bringing tomorrow.

Perhaps it was not the perfect moment, but there would never be one. Kiku leaned in and kissed Alfred, softly, on the lips.

And, to his joy, Alfred kissed back.

It was happy, it was okay, in their little corner of the world. Despite the pain, they would make it through.

"Aishiteru."

As the two separated, Kiku felt what must have been a truly large smile on his face, mirroring the one on Alfred's.

"Hey," Alfred said suddenly, "Do you remember those eighth-grade jerks back in middle school?"

Kiku nodded, flinching at the memory. "Ah… they were jerks, but life was so much simpler then…"

Alfred gave Kiku a hug. "But we're, like, dating now, right?"

And, startlingly enough, there was insecurity in his voice.

Kiku smiled softly. "Of course, Alfred."

The news was met with a loud whoop that the entire neighborhood probably heard. But who cared? They were happy.


	4. Spring verse

It was spring when everything shattered.

It had all been okay. Alfred's parents were fine with it, they had even been happy. Kiku might have had to endure constant teasing about his "Prince Not-So-Charming" from Li Xiang and Yong Soo, as well as getting his dates stalked by a yaoi-hungry Mei, but it was fine.

He loved his family.

Mei had started planning a wedding, while Li Xiang had made a "special" fireworks display for the fourth of July.

Kiku had met Matthew, Alfred's identical twin. Yong Soo had joked that it would be embarrassing if Kiku kissed Matthew by accident, resulting in him getting chased around the house and Matthew revealing that he did get mistaken for Alfred a lot.

Lucille, Alfred's adopted sister, was a sweet girl who liked the ocean and wanted to be a marine biologist. Tobias and Christian, two boys that reminded Kiku of Yong Soo and Hyung Soo, wanted to be ecologists. Tobias was mature, responsible, and liked sheep. Christian was wild and had an evil-looking stuffed koala.

They had gone on dates, seen all the superhero movies. Sure, there had been teasing at school, but then everyone had been introduced to Ivan. The tall Russian was Yao's boyfriend, and upon seeing him, everyone clammed up.

College applications were the cause of a lot of stress, but nii-san, a good big brother as always, had ensured Kiku would be prepared. And Alfred would come over every night just so Kiku could use his shoulder as a pillow.

It was okay.

So then why did the universe have to do this? To shatter this precious, wonderful thing that Kiku had?

Surely that person could have gone without a drink? Or called a cab? But no…

It was Lucille, the African girl that Alfred's family had adopted, who called them. Through a haze of tears, French and English, mixing together, it was all jumbled up.

But the gist of it was easy to get.

_Alfred_

_Driving_

_Voiture (car)_

_Truck_

_Mort (dead)_

_Dead._

Why? How could the world be so cruel?

_Sisha_

_Si le_

_Mort_

Kiku barely remembered the funeral. It had not been an open casket funeral, for one thing. Kiku understood that decision. How could anyone bear to see Alfred dead when he had been so animated, so eager, alive?

Mei and Lucille had hugged each other while crying. Cheng had comforted Matthew while the poor boy sobbed his heart out. Li Xiang was feebly offering a tissue to him as if somehow things would be okay.

Yong Soo and Hyung Soo sat with Christian and Tobias. The two occasionally cast pitying glances at Matthew while holding each other's hands, as if afraid of losing each other.

Nii-san sat there patiently and kindly as Arthur wept. He was there, just like he had always been in Kiku's life, for when times got too rough. Condolences would be nothing more than words, but time and patience could numb the pain, and love could heal it.

At least, that's what nii-san said. But Kiku wasn't sure. He brushed past Sadiq, Herakles, and Gupta, running away…

It wasn't fair.

It just wasn't fair.

Why did the world have to be like this?

Mocking him, scorning him…

The spring morning was perfect in every way. Birds sang a sweet melody and flowers bloomed in gardens. Laughter filled the air.

Kiku felt his stomach twist.

There shouldn't be laughter. There shouldn't be joy. Not anywhere, in this cruel, horrible, terrible world…

A week passed as he stumbled around, in a daze. His grades were as perfect as ever, but his movements were robotic. What was the point?

And then, about a week later, nii-san had gripped his shoulder.

"Kiku, Xiao-ju-hua, please… my heart breaks seeing you like this, all of our hearts do, all over again. Find a way to push past this. If not for yourself, then for Mei, for your brothers, for me… you know Alfred would want you to."

And that was how Kiku found himself standing beside Alfred's grave. It was made out of white marble, with flowers scattered around it. Roses, white lilies, exotic flowers…

Kiku placed two roses near the gravestone. Roses had been Alfred's favorite flower. One blue, for loyalty, and one red, for passion. They were the colors of the American flag.

"Alfred…" Kiku whispered, remaining standing as the gentle wind blew against his back.

Do you remember?

Do you remember that fight we got into about whose big brother was better? Do you remember that time you saved me from bullies?

Finding his voice once more, Kiku managed to voice one of his thousands of questions. "Do you remember the first time we kissed?"

Kiku did. He knew that he would never forget that wonderful person that had made his life complete.

"We were so hopeful then," Kiku murmured, smiling bitterly. "Who knew this would happen? Surely not to you, the one that was so full of life?"

But Kiku was stronger now. With the words Alfred had given him, the love his family gave him, the kindness his friends gave him, he would make it through.

" _Koishiteru_."


End file.
